I can't help but feel grateful for this article someone recently shared on FaceBook. It's about the foundation and balance of having a "friendship" with your children. I have naively approached parenthood with more of a militant, "rules-are-rules, don't break them or you'll be punished" way. Completely my parents fault, by the way. They were strict Catholics and enforced the house rules more adamantly than I can ever imagine doing, leaving me to think I was being WAY more lenient than them. Which is true, but I still lose my shit when I can't control something I think I 'should' as the adult. Hindsight, this approach often only alienated the children and caused a great deal of anxiety and resentment for both parties involved.
Now of course children still need rules but letting go of petty things like cleaning their rooms (I now just close the door) and I am now focusing on embracing their quirkiness, poor hygiene habits and allowing them to be themselves. Hopefully this establishes a mutual respect that will last a lifetime.
The good thing is that it's not too late to start anew, forge ahead with an open mind and heart.
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/07/why-some-parents-their-children-have-great-friendships/
