We, err.. I got a dog. Apparently I don't like sleep.

After 5 years of asking for a dog for Christmas, my loving husband gives in.  "I'll take care of it, 100% responsibility, you won't have to do a single thing." I said.  Little did I know how much work a puppy is!  I've had dogs before, but nothing could have prepared me for the terror of an 8week old canine disguised as an adorable little fur ball.

Before I start, don't even harp on me about the "adopt, don't shop"... I have had nothing but rescues in the past and loved them dearly.  I went with a reputable breeder this time because I have a young child and I didn't want to risk getting an older dog with a bad past.  Selfish maybe, but that's not what this is about....

This incredible little creature was so sweet and timid the first 48 hours.  And then...

The teeth! Those razor-sharp tiny slivers of enamel do nothing but bite/gnaw and scratch EVERYTHING.  Not just my hands, but articles of clothing suddenly have holes in them, there are scratch marks on every stool/table legs, and more.  I couldn't pet him calmly for the first 2 weeks because he would go for the kill every time.   I tried everything from bones, chew toys, plenty of exercise and bitter apple spray that claims to be a bite deterrent.   He would sit by the fireplace and file his teeth on the brick!  The sound is cringeworthy.   Poor thing had major teething issues.  I have to say it took a good 4 weeks to get him to stop the incessant biting.  At least with me, the girls still have problems with him just wanting to nip at them all the time.  

I slept on the couch the first week or so while crate-training him but he's still a morning dog.  And I mean 5am barking until I get him outside kind of morning dog.  So after years of sleeping in and loving my beauty rest, I am now completely surrounded by early risers.  From my husband who is up at 6am to my daughter who follows him downstairs, my dog and I are the only ones walking the streets of my suburban SoCal neighborhood at sunrise.  I keep telling myself he's just on Eastern time, and so I make all my calls to friends and family on the East coast and enjoy the rest of the calm before the storm of daily life begins.

Did I mention we got the dog a mere 3 months after my 4yr old finally started sleeping through the night?  Yes, that's right.  I've had over 4 years of interrupted sleep... only to extend it further.  Willingly, this was my idea!  WTF?   I guess I'll keep saying "I'll sleep when I'm dead".

In the meantime, I'll keep drinking my coffee and my wine to get me through.  In my defense, here's an article on interrupted sleep. Interrupted sleep led to 31% reduction in positive mood

Friending your children, is it possible?

I can't help but feel grateful for this article someone recently shared on FaceBook.  It's about the foundation and balance of having a "friendship" with your children.  I have naively approached parenthood with more of a militant, "rules-are-rules, don't break them or you'll be punished" way.  Completely my parents fault, by the way.  They were strict Catholics and enforced the house rules more adamantly than I can ever imagine doing, leaving me to think I was being WAY more lenient than them.  Which is true, but I still lose my shit when I can't control something I think I 'should' as the adult.  Hindsight, this approach often only alienated the children and caused a great deal of anxiety and resentment for both parties involved.
Now of course children still need rules but letting go of petty things like cleaning their rooms (I now just close the door) and I am now focusing on embracing their quirkiness, poor hygiene habits and allowing them to be themselves.  Hopefully this establishes a mutual respect that will last a lifetime.

The good thing is that it's not too late to start anew, forge ahead with an open mind and heart.


http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/07/why-some-parents-their-children-have-great-friendships/

Lean "in" to the children when they least expect it... what a novel idea!

I've just had one of the most challenging few days with my 14yr old hormonal step-daughter.  No matter what I said, she'd contradict me or snap at me for asking annoying questions like "how much homework do you have?".   Sadly, I got to the point where I snapped back. teary-eyed and asked why she was being so mean.  I'm not proud of it.  But I don't regret it either.  It's how I was feeling in the moment (attacked) for trying to help.  Over and over again.  Hindsight? What I could have done differently was "lean into her"... remind her she was loved despite feeling the freshmen pressure, or not understanding her hormones, or simply just reminding her she's better than to disrespect me or treat me as she was.  I could have hugged her instead of shutting down and checking out.

I'm publishing this entry with a link to an article that helped remind me that my step-daughter needs me.  And I want to be there.

3 Reasons to Lean In to other people’s children…especially when they stumble

Let there be boundaries... please God... let there be boundaries...

So here are the facts of the latest "situation" in my most awkward, strange and complicated relationship with my husband's ex-wife...

1. I was out of the country visiting family for 10 days
2. my husband was home on his own (without scheduled custody)
3. there was a big boxing match on PPV on Saturday night
4. the ex-wife's TV doesn't work AND she knows no boundaries
5. there was a pizza party in my living room with 2 teenagers and their bio-parents

Welcome home!  After nearly 2 weeks away, I get home to 2 grumpy (as usual) teenagers lounging on the couch, shoes on the coffee table et al., which was fine.  I was happy to see them as was my 3 year old, despite being received by a couple grunts and being brushed off like a bothersome fly.  The next day my husband and I  had date-night to reconnect and catch up after being apart for over 10 days.

SURPRISE! While at sushi, my loving and albeit, oblivious, husband casually mentions how his ex-wife had come to OUR aka MY house while I was out of town, to watch a boxing match.  Yeah, exactly.  WTF?  To my husband it was such a non-issue that he didn't mention it until then since he didn't think I would 'react'.  Which I tried so hard not to... therapist suggest I match my reaction to the action and so I just sat, silently crying at a sushi bar.  I didn't know what to do, say other than "I need time to process this..."  After a few harsh exchanges and 2 days of silence, we hugged it out.  We're both sorry but neither of us was to blame.  The most annoying thing in all of this is that the ex-wife put us through this, she overstepped boundaries (again), she put my husband is a position that would make it hard for anyone to say "no" and she made the kids feel uncomfortable by being in my space, a space reserved for our family, the five of us, not the four of them.  I can't imagine how awkward that night was for everyone involved, but there is only one person to blame and that's what I've concluded after a few weeks of cooling down.  

The lesson is after more than 5 years, she still doesn't understand what boundaries are... and we're not going to teach her. 

EXTRA! EXTRA! I have 3 children!

As it turns out.. I continue to struggle to accept that, despite living a lifestyle parallel to Carrie Bradshaw's less than 5 years ago, I now have a husband, a 17, a 14 and a 3 year old. My issues range from toddlers wetting the bed to drama surrounding college applications and first periods.

Not only did I relocate to a mostly un-diverse, practically rural town, in a new country, on the opposite side of the continent, I also inherited teenage angst and was catapulted into motherhood.  Obviously, with this and other step parenting blogs/books/information exchange, I expect to have this mastered by the time my bio-daughter reaches puberty.

Recently, I read somewhere about how my bio-daughter doesn't distinguish between her brother & sister.  She would never refer to them as half-siblings and so why should I?  She adores her older siblings, as they do her.  We have seen sides of these teenagers we never would know if it wasn't for my littlest one screaming "I LOVE YOU" repeatedly until she gets the response she wants every morning.

Why can't I just accept the same theory.  And so that's what I'm working on lately.  It hasn't been easy.  The fact that they have a bio-mom always affects my quest to being the maternal representation in their lives.  Is it the stigma attached to trying so hard to not become the 'wicked' stepmother that I've lost my way?  Perhaps.

At the end of the day, all 3 of these children will grow-up, move out and start families of their own.  They will likely have blended families, and I want ours to be the example of a well-functioning one.


Below is part of an article I came across today, some parts helpful, others not so much; read on for more @ www.winningstepfamilies.com

Have Realistic Expectations

• Instant love and adjustment is not realistic.
• It may take 4 to 7 years to go through the stages of stepfamily development.
• Step relationships will never be the same as biological relationships.
• It's OK not to love your stepchildren. 
• Do not compare family success to a first marriage model.

This being my only marriage, I can only approach with nothing but love and devotion.

Truly grateful, I am.

For all the complaining I might do (remember, this is my outlet), it doesn't diminish the fact that my husband is an amazing father to all three of his children. He does his best, as I do, and sometimes we forget to look around at all the happy faces to appreciate how good we have it.

And for those curious, yes, he reads my blog. Good, bad and ugly.  And he stills loves and supports me with all his might.  But that doesn't mean it's always easy.  And that's perfectly fine.  I wouldn't have any other way.

Stepmom Burnout: What to do about it

Amazing read.  Especially after the holidays I just had.  Mini-breakdown, husband suggesting therapy when all I needed was a glass of wine, some chore-delegation and a warm bath,  alone with my thoughts. Piece of mind doesn't have to come at an hourly rate.  Zen.



Stepmom Burnout: What to do about it

I'm not alone! Boundary issues with the ex-wife.

I have my share of stories when it comes to dealing with the ex-wife.  She's aloof, flighty, awkwardly social or is it socially awkward?  In her case, I'll say both.  Often, after an encounter with her, I'm left thinking "how does one get through life like this?"  For instance, there's the time she called me in a panic hoping I was near her house so I could, get into her place, hopefully there'd be a key under the mat, find some legal documents she'd left behind and drive them to her since she needed them for a court hearing that morning.  Did I mention she's a lawyer?  Seriously.  Besides, why am I on her speed dial for such events?!  My husband's response was "great that she trusts you".  WTF? I would call every neighbor/friend/family member before calling her for help with something that further highlights my incompetencies...  How in the world do these people operate (heavy machinery) a vehicle, let alone raise children?!

Clearly, I was relieved to find this article about setting expectations and boundaries with the ex-wife.

http://www.stepmomhelp.com

Happy reading!  Nice to know I'm not the only one bewildered with this relationship.

I think I can.. I think I can.

Many supportive friends say I'm a great stepmother and that these kids will appreciate it some day.  I fear not.  I believe they will only truly understand my position/effort/love/dedication if they become a stepparent themselves.  Which doesn't usually qualify as what one wants to be "when I grow up"...

A savings account of love? Say what?

These last few weeks (months according to my husband) have been quite difficult on our marriage.  When we ask ourselves why, his response is that I need therapy or anger management, while my response is the (step) kids are driving me bat-shit-crazy.   The raising of teenagers is patient parenting X100000000000.  I love these kids, they're truly incredible and kind, but boy can I take them or leave them sometimes.
This holiday season was tough, lovely and wonderful in the way holidays are so much more fun with kids.  Except when everyone in the family gets sick.  Be it the common cold or the flu, there were 3 members out of commission.  Mix that with school break, and couch potato-ing becomes an olympic sport in this house.  I'm surprised there wasn't a champion for the one who used the bathroom the most.  It was painful to witness.

So I feel tremendous relief when I come across an article by Wednesday Martin Ph.D., author of Stepmonster (stepmonster I am not) that justifies my warp-speed anger/resentment about having to pick up another pair of shoes or 10 dirty tissues off the living room floor.  The article highlights the challenging personalities of teenagers and how, basically, if you didn't give birth to these angry little buggers, it's that much harder to keep your cool during adolescence.  As good as these kids are, they're still 13 & 17 years old and incessantly moody.

The bright side? Only 18 months before the first goes to college!

teens-can-drive-you-nuts-especially-when-theyre-not-yours

Serenity now. Praying for no insanity later...

Also, check out Mrs. Martin's blog for more information about raising these other people's children we get to call our own.  http://wednesdaymartin.com/blog/

The angry teenage man-child

Obviously, I'm not an expert in this area.  I had friends that were boys when I was 17, some of which I'm still friends with today, otherwise, I have no clue what goes on in these nearly-adult males.  I'm not sure if it's the holidays and he's suffering from withdrawal from his (girl)friends but this kid is one of the most short-tempered, angry, uptight teens I've ever met.  Granted, he's the only one I've ever lived with, but lately, he's an ass.  Even getting a "good morning" seems to suck the life out of him.  I vaguely remember a similar phase when he was 14, but he's just been a POS.
I'm tempted to have the "you catch more bees with honey" talk with him, but couldn't even bare his negative presence this morning, so I left the house for a few hours.  Of course he had not budged from the couch.

When school is out, I'm basically kicked out of my home because he spends all day, everyday watching soccer.

Happy Holidays everyone! Blurgh... I'm not the Grinch, I've just lost patience with this egocentric, self absorbed, 17 year old who is completely unaware he has the best life anyone could ask for.

Hygiene and the teenage girl

I've lived with these teenagers for nearly 4 years now.  The boy has showered everyday, sometimes twice a day since I can remember.  What he does during the 45 minute alone time in the shower is none of my business.  (Suffice to say I never had a brother so I just as soon not think about it.)  My teenage step daughter on the other hand, practically has to be threatened to get her in the shower.   Her hair gets so oily, it looks wet.  And the body odor is unbearable and reminiscent of my days living in the city.  When I'd walk by an alley with homeless people.  That burn your nose hairs stench.

Shocking? Not really, just refer back to my blog about the matted hair issue.  I talk to other moms of teenage girls and this is apparently quite common.  This species doesn't like to shower in general.  Apparently one day, the switch is flipped and they start taking 45 minute showers too.  I just hope that switch happens soon.  The whole pleading with her to bathe is getting a little annoying.  Ok, a lot annoying.  I just don't get it.  I grew up with 2 older sisters and there's no way my mother would let us get away with 2 days of not washing up.  Which is the rule I apply to my 3 year old.

I'm going to go wash my hair now....

Dress code malfunction

I'm at a lunch/business meeting when I get a text from my 13 year old telling me she got a dress code violation and needed me to bring her a sweater to cover her shoulders.  I immediately think she's probably wearing a tank top with spaghetti straps.  The school is quite rigid on exposed shoulders.  Unfortunately I can't make it back to her before the end of the school day so she gets the consequence of wearing her PE/gym uniform all day.  Which, you can imagine, is quite the punishment for a trendy teenage girl.

Turns out, the sweater I thought she needed wouldn't have made much difference since she was wearing her one-piece romper.  Which would be fine if she didn't have mile long legs.  For perspective, we're both 5'7, but her legs are at least 3-4 inches longer.  Something that makes me jealous but I've learned to accept my long torso over the years.  Somewhat. Not really.

Her legs are so long that a friend of mine nicknamed her Baby Giraffe.  We often refer to her as Baby G.... So when she becomes famous (she's convinced is a matter of time) she already has her rapper name.  "Baby G. in da house!"

Texting + illness = unresponsiveness

At 1am, my husband's cell phone rings/vibrates.  Of course, I hear it and he doesn't despite being on his night stand.  I confusingly nudge him to answer, in his groggy/sleepy state, he tells me it's our 13 year old and that she's not feeling well.  Which just adds to my confusion since she's sleeping in her room, down the hall from us.... yes, in our house, less than 20 feet away!  Turns out, she woke up with a stomach ache and was TEXTING my husband to do something about it for over one hour.  Instead of getting up and asking for help... WTF?  Call me crazy, but this is where my old-school style of parenting comes in.  Are you friggin' kidding me?!? You're in that much pain you decide to message me, in capital letters no less, instead of rolling your butt out of bed to get help.
My husband gave her Advil and was back in bed in 2minutes.  Not another sound from her, and she was bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning.  Oh the drama of a teenage beauty queen...

I admit after this situation, I agree with my parents and their usual "kids and technology these days..."

Here's what it looked like:

12:01AM
PLEASE HELP ME!
12:07AM
MY STOMACH HURTS
12:15AM   
DAD!!!PLEASE HELP ME!
IT HURTS SO MUCH... I CAN'T SLEEP.... 
12:38AM   
PLEASE HELP ME.... 
12:49AM   
I'VE BEEN TEXTING YOU FOR 1 HOUR!!
12:56AM  
DAD! HELP ME!!

Beware! New driver.

Recently, my stepson has come into his own.  In the past 4 months, he turned 16, became an all-star on his high school varsity soccer team (1 of 3 sophomores) and got his driver's license.
His new-found freedom has afforded him the luxury of driving himself to school & his infinite number of soccer practices. Hooray!  I think I was more elated than he when he got that sheet of paper allowing him to drive a vehicle sans adult passenger.   No more carpool, means I don't have to get myself and the toddler out of bed (of course she only slept in on the mornings I had to get her up), stick her in the car half asleep, drive around the neighborhood picking up 5 teenagers and driving them to school in rush hour.  I'll especially miss that brat of a kid who could never get his sh*t together on time, had 4 or 5 bags/shoes/books on the loose and always ran late.

So J has been driving himself around for nearly 2 weeks.  The other day when his alarm failed him, he panicked and asked for a last-minute ride to school.  Huh? What? Why?  Do I drive that much faster?  No.  He just figured it would be easier (which it would've been for him) to not have to worry about parking.  Easier for me?  Negative.  I was just waking up, still in PJs (aka no bra), changing my toddler's diaper and hadn't even started my caffeine ritual.  This could not end well.  Luckily he spoke to his father/my dear husband, who convinced him he was wasting time trying to get a ride when he could jump in his car and get there.  Which he did, of course.  Found a parking spot et al.  At the end of the day, I asked how he managed to get through the day without his 45minute shower?  He responded "My hair was all wrong".  LOL I can't imagine the horror he felt every time he saw his reflection with 'imperfect' hair.

So... I put a bottle of Dippity Doo hair gel in his car for such emergencies.

Meeting the ex-wife's parents? How did I get here?

It's the holidays and everybody's happy and grateful and feeling generous… However, what I would like to know is why am I meeting my husband's ex-wife's parents?  Don't get me wrong, the relationship is amicable. We respect each other, mostly and definitely when it's regarding the children's sake. 

True, her parents live out of state, they are visiting for the holidays, and they're my step-children's grandparents. But that is the only connection. I am not related to them nor them to me nor them to my own child yet we are scheduled to meet them tomorrow for a quick pop in.  What the...?

They are from the south and I am sure they are lovely people. Honestly, I understand them wanting to meet their grandchildrens' half-sister. Kind of. Sort of.  Ugh... So unbelievably weird!  And being the cool stepmom I believe I am, I agreed to meet them since my husband asked so cautiously and politely. Promising me that we will not stay for more than a few minutes and that we were doing it for the children. 

I get it. I really do. It just doesn't make it any less awkward.  

Brush your damn hair!

My darling 12y.o. stepdaughter comes back from spending the week at her mother's with the absolute worst matted hair I've ever seen.  Now you probably think I'm overreacting, but rest assured, you would think there was a small animal living in this giant mess.

Couple of things before I get into this... why do teenage girls hate the shower?  What is it about hot water and steam that sets them off?  This has been an on-going struggle for years, actually,  since I first met her.  It's a constant negotiation with getting her in the shower. Sometimes it's : "Go have a quick shower and we'll do your nails after" or "go rinse off (after swimming lessons) so we can watch a movie tonight" to which her rebuttal has been "I don't need to shower, I had swim today"  WTF?  Seriously, that's when I go through the damaging effects of chlorine on her (drying) skin and the potential of having her gorgeous, shiny blonde mane turn green from the dye.  So when she's in the shower, which lasts up to 1hour, we just keep our mouths shut and praise her for keeping her body film-free and relatively odorless.  She's a teenager after all...

FACTS:

1. There are 24inches of hair
2. It's gorgeous, shiny and blonde
3. The matted area has shortened the hair to 12inches
4. This is the result of at least 4-6weeks of unkept hair

Sadly, my Super-Stepmom radar has been too busy lately to notice that she's been tricking us for at least one month if not since school started (10weeks ago!).   Her MO? Showering without shampooing and quickly putting her hair up in a bun so we wouldn't notice the nest building up at the nape of her neck.

I mentioned her need to shampoo a few weeks ago cause I could smell (wwww) that it needed refreshing.  So yesterday, after our big welcome back bear hug,  I suggested we start brushing her hair out.  And for a change, she was very quick to agree and ran upstairs to shower.  When she came back to me, comb in-hand,  I didn't expect the grapefruit size matte of hair...

After trying to work through it for 2 hours, laughing at some jokes about white-girl dreadlocks and a bird nesting in there and a few tears.  I Googled everything about detangling hair, from wide-tooth combs to detangling spray, but nothing seemed to work.  We tried soaking it in conditioner overnight and are going to continue the painful process again tonight and every night this week... worst case is she's going to get an infamous bad childhood haircut we've all had.

I believe I'll let her bio-mom take her for that salon appointment.  :-)

Don't let this happen to your child's hair!

My stepson? He loves me. He really does.

Being one of three girls, I grew up with nothing but girly things, (sorry Dad).  Yes, one of my sisters ended up being a 'tomboy' but we definitely had more Barbie dolls than sporting equipment in the house.  And sure I played with WWE figurines just as much as the neighborhood boys with whom I traded my Macho Man Randy Savage for the newest British Bulldog (no brainer, right?).  

So when we got married, I had no idea what to expect from my husband's kids, especially then 12yr old boy, J.  He never says much, keeps to himself and his Xbox and frankly,  we don't have much in common.  I'm this outgoing, cheery and sometimes opinionated Canadian girl who works in the beauty industry,  in other words, I don't knew what a soccer ball looked like but rarely got passed the uniform colors.  While he is the calm, cool and soccer type.

I've been in their lives for nearly 3 years and it's been an incredible journey.  I've learned more from both of my step kids than I could have imagined.  It's hard to know if I'm doing a good 'job' with them... Not being their 'mother' but still playing such an important role at this insanely crazy teenage stage is a huge undertaking.  I accept I have my limits and I might not have all the answers but... I am doing my best.

So, despite this 15yr old man child's quiet and reserved existence, he made my heart melt when I opened my birthday card and read these 2 words, in his own handwriting... "Love you, J."

Hooray for me!  I'm doing something right by him.  According to my loving husband, the boy wasn't even coaxed/threatened/bribed into writing it.  Totally on his own volition.  And that, my friends, is good (parental) stuff. :-)

Lessons? Why? I'm really good.

So my 12 year old step daughter is taking band at school.  She is supposed to practice her saxophone every day so my husband decides to rent her a saxophone so she doesn't have to carry the case back and forth from school to home every night.  Well, though the intention is nice, the playing rarely occurs.  More than once have I signed her weekly practice sheet with gaping holes in it and a few 'incorrect' data points.  Alas, I've accepted that when she does practice, she actually is pretty good.
I'm reminiscent of my 8th grade saxophone fiasco, which involved an ambulance and an angry teacher. (while playing the sax, I fainted and knocked over several sheet stands when I tumbled off my chair.  Minor headache ensued, followed by much ridicule as I was switched to a different instrument, the coveted triangle.)

So when I was looking for summer camps and fun things for this tween to do during her 12week-long summer, music lessons came up.  My husband loves that she likes to play an instrument and so we talked about getting her some private lessons.  Without batting an eye, her response?  "No,  I don't need lessons.  I'm REALLY good." This response killed me.   Seriously, I thought I would die.  Initially, I'm thinking; Who the f#@k do you think you are? John Coltrane? Kenny G maybe? Jeezus girl! Take it down a notch!...  Then my husband, the ever proud father to his spitting image daughter, tells me about how proud he is of her confidence.  Which, in hindsight, I might just be jealous of.  I mean, there's no way I thought I was too good for any kind of musical learning so who am I to judge this 12yr old who seems to know everything?  After all, she might be a child prodigy.  Right? Maybe?.... hmmmm

Basically, she's a 7th grader looking to make the big time.  Any agents out there? :-)

Hooray for (Step)Mother's Day!

Ah Mother's Day.  A National holiday honoring she who gave us life, the very people who help prevent the extinction of humankind (ok, I'm being dramatic), the same woman who's taken care of us when we've been sick, be it with chicken pox, first heartbreaks or worst, (and unbeknownst to her) a hangover.

To most mothers, this is a pretty special day.  Time to spend the day with your offspring and cherish the moments.  To others, like the ex-wife, not so much.  

For background, let me recap Mother's Day, 2012.  My daughter was born in August 2011, so last year's was my first official Mother's Day.  To me, this is HUGE.  I look forward to the tacky crafts she'll come home from preschool with one day and I'll stick them to the refrigerator with pride.  I want to be celebrated as a Supermom.  I really do.  It may be related to the fact that I gave birth to her, naturally, midwife/doula/2 assistants and a lot of swearing during those +18 hours of contractions & laboring.  Or it could be the fact that we are done having kids, and this is my one & only pride and joy, my very own mini-me!  So last year, my husband took us (9month old and myself) to an amazing brunch.  We planned a whole day of just hanging out, doing things I love.  Like, said brunch and walking on the beach.  FULL STOP.  Phone call from his ex-wife announcing that she's done spending time with her/their kids and can we come get them.   Now?  PRE our walk on the beach.. She basically spent 2-3 hours with them, they had breakfast at a Bagel Shop because there was too long a line anywhere else.  Ya think?!  And she wants us to cut our day in half because... she wants to go watch a baseball game with her BF.  Btw, did I mention it's Mother's Day, she's supposed to have them ALL day. WTF?

Fast forward to today and our plans for Mother's Day, 2013.  My husband, the chef, is making a  special champagne brunch.  Yum!  Like last year, my step kids are expected to spend the day with their mother.  Alas, my husband's attempt to remind her this is "her" day to spend with the kids was futile. She'll be out of town visiting her BF's parents and therefore doesn't want to get up early to pick up her children.  So we'll be having an amazing brunch, just the 5 of us and she, well, she'll come get them for the afternoon.  As long as there's no game on.  It's no big deal, not to her.  This Mother's Day thing is just another day, or obligation?  

I can only speak for myself.  And I'm excited to spend the day with 21month old (holy shit! when did that happen?),  the Love of my Life and his pretty cool teenagers.  I even requested a game night leading up to the brunch.  Yay for Monopoly.  After all, it's my turn to win.